Monday, July 23, 2007

My Trip To Crimson Lake


When my younger brother asked me if i wanted to hike in eight and a half miles to a secluded lake in the Sawtooths I refused, quickly. I mean, I did have a party to go to that weekend. Party got canceled, and I picked up an old Alice pack from a pawn shop. I clearly had no idea what I was getting myself into. As we parked the truck, I looked into the vast wilderness and quickly thought about setting up camp at the trail head. Yeah, so I had a sneaking moment of pussy creep through me, luckily it passed, and I strapped what felt like eighty pounds worth of oatmeal and vegetarian chili on my back. We set up the first camp about four miles in, around twelve thirty in the morning. That first night was some of the best sleep I had in years. I was able to quickly glance at the stars before I dozed off for the evening. Explaining what those stars looked like would be like trying to explain color to a blind man, they were some new kind of vivid. I was woken just before dawn, there were two chipmunks chasing each other around a tall pine tree, chattering and raising all kinds off hell, stopping every now and again to look at me, cursing me for shooting there cousin with a sightless twenty two all those years ago. I felt those stares, I knew what they were trying to communicate. We resumed our hike shortly there after, and the last mile or so was pure hell. I developed two of the biggest blisters I have ever seen, anywhere, on the back of my feet. The boys were kind enough to help a brother out and carried my pack out for the last thirteen twenty, or there abouts. Thanks fella's, I couldn't have done it without you. The lake was amazing. It was the first lake of any size that I had seen that didn't have any houses on it, and we were the only people camping there. There were many six to eight inch trout that hung out a few feet off shore, begging to be eaten. We spent a night there, using pebbles for poker chips, I lost five dollars. I wrote a rather extended letter to a friend of mine, one of those letters that is not meant to be delivered, or read. By anyone, ever. That night the stars were about as bright as they are in Los Angeles on a cloudy night, and a steady stream of ash fell on me until around two in the A.M. from a nearby forest fire. The next morning we ate breakfast, broke down camp, and hiked out. I hadn't felt a sense of accomplishment like I did that afternoon in quite a while. I also hadn't wanted to quit smoking in some time, but that day I did. Not really a tough guy when your lungs are on fire and every muscle aches and you fell like laying down and dieing, and the kids you are with are trotting up inclines like goats. Little punks.

Monday, April 16, 2007

CL GIRL

so its the first girl i had ever contacted via craigslist. i felt like a complete fool for doing it, apparently lacking the fortitude to make friends out on the streets of boise. she ended up living three or four doors down the street from me. i picked her up in my pickup, it was running like shit. it ended up being the points just needed adjusted but i was late to pick her up so i figured if she wants to like me she's gonna have to love my eyesore piece of shit truck too. we went to a bar downtown. the was a band playing that i listened to on myspace and they sounded like a great date band. we ended up being the only people there aside from staff and watched the entire show by ourselves on the infamous couch. first time i shut a bar down on a first date. we went to merrits to have coffee, got there around eleven pm and left around six am. she made a comment about how our dates always ended up us spending entire days together, i wonder now if she was trying to tell me something. there is another witty snippet that could go here but it is still a fresh story that i am not laughing about quite yet. it was a beautiful thing, i slept in a real bed for a few nights. we went to a bar with little docks anchored in a lake. we talked about her getting back together with her ex boyfriend. i tried to explain to her that she shouldn't ask me for an honest opinion on whether or not she should go back to him, everything i could say will either hurt or make me look like i'm competing. which i will never do. i get a text from her phone, professing her love for him, or whatever. he calls soon after that. he sound like a dyke. at five forty five in the morning he calls me up to tell me "i know your going through a lot of bad stuff right now, i understand how you would want someone to reach out to." this pisses me off, i say, "you can knock the doctor phil shit off right now. i guess i'm just less of a pussy than you are." he says "nice" and i hang up. she starts sending me messages from work or myspace, so he won't find out she's still trying to get a hold of me. the last time we hung out we made out and i got a backrub, in front of two of her friends, she got pissed off when i was chatting up her friends, she said "i don't share" and i told her i didn't either...to be continued...maybe...

Monday, January 22, 2007

repost lindsey blog

Thursday, January 18, 2007

our dear friend lindsey

so today was a rough day for me. last night i was awake until seven am trying to figure out my life, and also how to solve all of the worlds problems. i had decided that the best route might be to just stay in boise, and put off my move to portland for a while. so i get up around nine thirty (am) to go to work. i already had two text messages on my phone. they read:

"i'm up now, whats up?"
and
"hey wake the hell up!"

i was hoping for a generally "nice" exchange, so i might get through the day peacefully, that was quickly forgotten.

"do you think you could take the kids tomorrow? i have to work."

i don't think she really has a job.

"i'll drop them off today after lunch cause i'll be in town, then pick them up after church on sunday."

i tell her no.

"why?"

i have to find some money to pay back the bank for the phone bills of yours that you illegally put through.

"fine whatever you can see them next weekend then."

then she sees she isn't gonna get her way, and gets pissed.

"you never fucking help me with them. its so fucked up. why don't you just get fuckin outta here and go be with your best friends?"

she means portland. i tell her thats a great idea, but my phone and car insurance are getting turned off because of your illegal transactions.

"why don't you pay me child support then?"

because i cant pay my bills because you steal from me. you don't need it.

"you're right i fuckin don't. you don't have to pay rent."

i tell her i want custody

"the weekend is your time with her and thats all your gonna get. not like you want her more anyways"

i tell her all i want is my daughter.

this is where it gets juicy...

"i try to give you more of her and you don't take her so fuck you nathan. your the piece of shit."

how noble of her.

i tell her she is pure evil and to stop texting me.

she tells me "so are you" i chuckle to myself.

"im so sick of trying to kiss your ass, im done." i hope that means done texting. that isn't what it means...

she sends me five or six more telling me what a horrible person i am and that i'm selfish and its my loss. and my kids loss. guilt trip time.

"your just selfish and wanna have more time to drink and go fuck around."

i tell her i don't have money to go drink and if she knows where i can go to "fuck around" i would appreciate the info.

"should of paid me child support then"

my lord i hate this bitch.

"but you didn't"

"i'm not bringing them on saturday"

i tell her repeatedly to leave me alone. then i tell her i'm gonna call the cops and file for a restraining order for harassing me all day. maybe a bit over the top but this bitch doesn't understand reason, or logic, so you have to be all crazy like she is. last text she sent was "i just got child support papers. you might wanna see if you got any too" naturally i didn't send anything back. the moral of the story is i am not giving her a god damn red cent. i will drag this out as long as i have to, make this a big 'ol pain in her ass, because my daughter doesn't need to be raised and trained to be a nasty dope snorting cunt, and i will do everything in my power to see that that doesn't happen. when you read this, you blood sucking nose bleeding not-proper-ass-wiping piece of trailer trash, know this. i hate you. everyone that isn't a meth head hates you. your a thief and a liar. and your stupid. bitch.

sup?

new blog for the privileged few. welcome . "fuck you. i'm eating"